Feel Free to Dance

panic!.jpg

There’s a lot going on in my journey along this.hero.life and I wanted to share some stories through song. Yes! Song:

Last week I had really high hopes: I went to rugby practice after a 3-year retirement (that’s what old guys call it when they get too fat). Honestly, it was terrible. I walked on the pitch thinking, “I bike 3-5 times a week. I row a lot…this is gonna be a walk in the park.” It was a kick in the kisser. 

It took about 3 minutes before my hands were on my knees and I was gasping for air. I mean…it was great to run around the pitch and enjoy the new Spring weather, but biking shape is not rugby shape.

I turned 46 recently and I have to fight the urge to live my life on the couch. It has been more and more tempting to plop down after work every day and see how deep into Netflix I can get (I’m all about Forged in Fire and Blown away right now…who woulda thought). 

this.hero.life calls me to enjoy time on the couch without becoming addicted to it. This song reminds me to “stay up on that rise” and have another run (we’ll see whether I get my boots on next week).

Mama said, burn your biographies / Rewrite your history, light up your wildest dreams

They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me / So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see


---

It’s tough to admit, but I still battle with memories of trauma. Daily. If you’ve had a chance to read my book, you know that the story of Salvation shared in Christianity has a powerful impact on my life. 

I listen to gospel music all the time because it helps me battle my memories. The story of Salvation (whichever flavor you prefer) reminds me that I can overcome. It gives me words to express my emotions and images on which to build a future me.

This song reflects two sides of my journey on this.hero.life: feelings of inadequacy and the power of Love to transform me into the person I believe I can become:

I'm not enough to salvage / And I'm not enough to build with / So don't try  

I believe / What you think about me / So I'll repeat the confessions of Your love for me

---

Country music is an important part of my journey along this.hero.life because of its focus on community. And relationships.

I think there was a part of me who always knew I would settle down, but he was buried deep, deep (deep!) in my psyche. One of the things that’s been most difficult for me to learn since I settled down in the Middle West is how to be loved.

It sounds really easy, but I grew up in an environment where I didn’t know what it meant to be loved. I think I was loved as a kid, but it was shown in such unhealthy ways that I adopted unhealthy habits. Habits that I’ve had to scrutinize, interrogate, and excise from my life in order to be the partner I know I can be.

When I first heard this song, I thought it was about how a man falls out of love with a woman, but it’s much more interesting than that. It challenges me to push myself to be a better partner as much as I push myself in other aspects of my life.

Girl, I've always loved you, but something's changed / Blame it on time, the road or the ride, but it ain't the same

I don't love you like I used to / This gets better every time you / Kiss me like this

Next
Next

Chasing After Change